.

When two pieces of jigsaw puzzle do not fit with each other, they are not meant to be together. When you try to push them together, both of them will be damaged and the entire picture of the puzzle will be incomplete. The worse thing is, when you try to fit many pieces of puzzle that all do not correspond to the shape of their neighbours, the entire picture just gets totally screwed up.

Yet they still try to force them together.

Misunderstanding, disagreement, injustice, all started to build up since last year, and it all ends with a bang today. Isn't it a nice ending, that all our honour, our contributions and our sacrifices gets buried under thick mud where they can rest in peace?

Rest in pieces, rather.

Screw fate. I bet i can construct my own fate and fight my way to success. Push through the final lap of this race and the better future will come.

Fate turns against me.

I dreamt of us playing "Con te partirò" together. It is a beautiful song, and I really wish we can play it for concert one day. I must say, it is one of the most wonderful dream I've ever had in my life.

I wish there's no line between dreams and reality.

Musicality precedes technique.

L'existence précède l'essence.

I admire people who can play piano with their eyes closed. It is a difficult task, as the positions on the keys must be dead accurate in order not to miss a note. I believe for one to really master this skill, he must have spiritual connections with the piano, with the keys. Bring the notes beyond the fact that they are just mere notes. Bring every single phrase, every single line, every single note into your heart, into your feelings, into your emotions. Let fingers move on their own, let them move according to your emotions, let them find their positions on their own. And then there will not be any difficulties in playing with your eyes closed.

The beauty about playing with your eyes closed is that you can virtually forget everything you see, because you will see nothing. Let the music govern all your senses, so that you can really understand and enjoy what the music is saying. Every note means something. When they combine, they mean beyond then something that we previously know. And eventually when these reach our senses, they are completely perceived by our senses, and completely translated to a turbulence of emotions. Close your eyes, and listen. Enjoy. Let the music flow in your blood.

Haha, hopefully one day, I can play tempest with my eyes closed, the experience will be extraordinary.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

This quote suddenly came into my mind few days ago. It was from the movie Kungfu Panda. That was an amazing movie. And I remember this quote being said by master wugui moments before his death. It inspired my life. It divides time into three sections: past, present and future.

"Yesterday is history" - The past is over, and it will not come back again. History teaches us lessons, hence we should learn from the past. Learn from our experiences, learn from our mistakes. Although it will not happen again, we can capture the past beyond the past through time capsules. Photographs, texts, books. And our "higher-powered reflective instrument" - memory.

"Tomorrow is a mystery" - The future is unknown. We cannot predict what is going to happen. The beauty of the future is that it is a mystery. Though unpredictable, we can shape the mysterious realms of the future. This is where the future links with the past: we shape the future using experiences and skills learnt from the past. However, not everything can be controlled, as there are other forces the governs every motion in the universe. We can cease existence any moment.

"Today is a gift" - The present is a gift, a gift is a present, and hence the present is a present. It happens right now, as I am writing, and as you are reading. What is so amazing about it is that we have complete control over our present. It is the moment. We can reflect on the past, we can prepare for the future, and we can do anything to please ourselves in the present. It is a gift, a gift of existence. The reason why we exist is because of the existence of the present. Our existence is therefore a subset of the present's existence, and we'll soon realize that the present governs everything: the past, the memories, the regrets, the celebrations, and the future, the hopes, the inspirations, the anticipations. Love it, and enjoy it. Enjoy the existence, as it is a gift, a gift from the heavens. This gift is always with us as we live through our lives. Treasure it, admire it, embrace it.

I remember the past, hope for the future, and love the present.

As the Emperor says: "The Best is NOW."

Was playing Beethoven's D minor sonata, aka the tempest sonata. It's just an amazing masterpiece. The three movements represents three different moods, and three different pictures. It is supposedly to be somewhat related to Shakespeare's "The Tempest", especially the 1st mvt. It somehow reminds me of King Lear as well, in the storm scene, where all the elements come into action: air, water, earth and fire.

The 1st mvt depicts a storm scene, from the start all the way till the end. I love the very first chord, an arpeggiated 1st inversion chord, which is like the sound of a distant thunder. Although the storm is not seen yet, but danger lurks everywhere and the "electricity" in the air can be felt in every frequency of that chord. Then it's followed by a brief panic of the people, running for shelter from the upcoming storm. Then a second thunder, even more deadly, more silent, yet more dangerous. And eventually as the people starts to panic again, the storm finally arrives and reaches to the main theme. Here, raindrops and wind is portrayed using the triplet figurations, and the thunder, the lightning is represented by the powerful broken chord motif in the bass. In all this chaos and disorder, the pleading and crying of the people is heard as well. The entire scene is just being depicted so wonderfully using music. Ah what a beauty.

In contrast to the 1st mvt, the 2nd mvt is much more calm, more serene, more peaceful. The same arpeggiated chord motif as the 1st mvt is being used in the first bar, but the meaning here is complete different. It shows a sense of relief, sense of serenity. The storm is now over. Everything remains so still, so silent, so soft, so gentle, so legato. I love the occasion tremolo-like figurations in the left hand. It adds on to the calmness of the entire piece of music. And also the desending broken arpeggio in the recapitulation. Loved it.

Third mvt, shows the flow of the the water after the storm. At first it flows in a stream. Then it flows into a big river, then back into a stream again. The flowing of water is everlasting, as if it flows forever. The entire movement has this constant flow throughout, with ony a few interruptions. This creates a sense of eternity, as it is constantly flowing. The same motif is also used throughout, which creates unity of mood and unity of time. I want life to be like this, such that it lasts forever and is constant with few interruptions. I want emotions to flow constantly through me.

I want it to storm. Like really a big big huge storm. Lightning, Thunder, Wind, Rain. Everything at once. Then I'll play the tempest sonata along with the storm. I will play it in the storm. Haha that will be amazing, isn't it?

Earth is not round.

Neither is it oval.

Earth is flat.

Face the Truth: Earth is flat.

People say that we should always persevere and strive on, and never give up no matter what.

But sometimes, when you know that you are never going to succeed, what's the point of even trying? There are definitely better things waiting for you to do. Move on, change your path to something that suits you. Then you'll soon see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Giving up and moving on, simple as it sounds, is not an easy task to do. You have to forget everything that has bothered you before and and shift all the attention onto something else, something new. And for me, I've always been trying to move on in life, but something just doesn't let me.

"Something there is that doesn't love a wall". It's against nature.

I thought you wanted to stay, but no, now you don't. What exactly is making me stay, I don't know. After today's incident, I'm even more perplexed over this question.

Why are so many things happening in my final flight of stairs? I may just end up like Adela. Maybe it's time to leave the House.

Since I'm not supposed to talk about some things here, I shall reserve my comments.

After IB, I'm gonna study music in university and after that I'll come back to Singapore, probably teach music in my school or some other random school. One day I'll rise to become the dean of music and then I shall slack for the rest of my life after that. That's my ultimate way to achieve enlightenment.

Or if I'm lucky, I'll first become a piano teacher in a music school. Then I'll start giving private lessons and charge like 100 bucks per hour and earn 5 digits a month by doing basically nothing.

Meanwhile when I'm slacking off, I will investigate on the Fibonacci numbers and compose all my music based on that. Eventually I'll gain enlightenment by starting at and meditating on the Fibonacci numbers and I'll come up with a new theory known as the Gu theory and own the world until eternity.

I want to compose. Compose until I take my last breath, until the sea drowns the land, until the Sun engulfs the Earth. It's just so much fun, so much pleasure, so much joy. And inspirations come so smooth, so natural, yet so unexpected. Last night, they just rushed into my mind like never before, and I really enjoyed the sensation, and I really want more.

I found out that the progression from chord I to bIIM7add9 is amazing. It gives me enlightenment. Really, I nearly cried when i first heard that progression. It's just so beautiful. If you don't believe it, try it. It brings you to Nirvana instantly. I first heard it in El Nath. That piece is just wonderful. So calm, so serene, yet so passionate. That progression becomes even more awesome when mixed with quartal and quintal harmonies. Love it.

I can't live without music. I want it to fill up every single remaining portions of my life. If one day there's no music or I become deaf, I'll just go crazy and eventually die of craziness. Really.

你是世界的盐，

你组成了世界。

就如盐，

你与我连在一起，

组成了世界的一点一滴。

你成了河流与海洋，

我成了峡谷与山脉。

只要大家同心协力，

世界就会变得更加美丽，

因为我们大家都是世界的盐。

I began to realize after I've calmed myself. What exactly went wrong, I don't know. But it doesn't matter. The bow is bent and drawn. They say failures are stepping stones to success. Maybe everything was planned out before, maybe this is just fate. It is a precious lesson learnt. All the hardwork we put in was definitely worth it. And as the six years come to a close soon, I would really want to thank everyone, everyone who walked with me in this six memorable years.

Life is like a candle. It will eventually burn out. It can bring light as well as disaster. But let the flame spread to other candles. Let the love spread to others and bring them joy. Bring light to the world. Let the everlasting love live until eternity.

Looks like my mind is still in embroilment. Sigh.

I refuse to go back into reality. I just can't stand everything going around me. Too many things going on. I want to live a simple and pleasant life. On a grassland, or in the mountains. I want to forget everything and bring my loved ones there. I want to go to a place like Shangri-la, where I'll find eternal peace.

But I know in this dynamic world, this will never be fulfilled. My life seems to have little meaning. If there isn't music, I won't have the power to live on. If there isn't love, I won't have the will to exist.

Just believe in it. I can.

Sound. What sound? It's totally bullshit u know, I really don't know what they want. It's like a slap in your face by your most beloved one. We put in so much and this is what we get. Controlled? It's not meant to be controlled you know. And that storehouse is good? O man its even worse than a pit, a cave.

Haiya, no matter what, let all the unjust and frustration rest. Just let go, u know, that's the art of life. Learn from experiences, and achieve better in the future.

We know we did our best, we made wonderful music, we had the passion from our deepest heart, and we enjoyed it, and that's all it matters.

But the more I listen, the more puzzled i get. The imbroglio in my mind is killing. Are you sure when you said you really mean it?

I'm totally lost after all. Everything is so ephemeral. And now it's over, what's next? I hate the unexpectedness. And yet I could do nothing. Nothing. And nothing doesn't comes out of nothing. So near, and yet so far.

I've been trying to move on, but I just can't. Yes the c-word: can't. I dunno whether Justitia still exists. If she does, give me an explanation, please.

But this is not the end. I'll make up the loss in my last appearance. I'll play on.

"If music be the food of love, play on." - William Shakespeare

I'm so bored, with all the work in IB. Soon I realised i needed something else to entertain myself other than piano.

Currently stuck in TOK, but don't really see a point in learning it. But I'm quite fascinated with how people can draw mona lisa with MS paint. Anyway that's not the point. The thing is, I need to finish my essay now and get settled on a OP topic.

A new year. A new beginning.

Happy new year!

Whenever I'm walking in an open space, I feel damn scared. Especially on dark days. I've this feeling that a lightning bolt is gonna struck me any time. So weird huh. But I think I really have a phobia of lightnings. Although there are tall things around me which reduces the probability of me being struck, but I'm still damn scared. Even in a crowd, I'm usually the one who is most likely to get struck. Sigh why must I be so tall.

I've read about this soccer team in some country some time ago which all eleven players got killed in a storm by a bolt of lightning. How scary man. And there's this guy in Singapore who got killed when he was walking from the bus stop to a train station. Anything could happen any time right.Who knows what will happen next. It's just like in a split second and you're gone.

But actually 90% of the people who gets struck by lightnings survive. However these people usually develop abnormalities after getting struck, like behaving retarded, shrinking body and all those kind of weird stuff. There's this dude who got struck 3 times in 4 years. And yet he survived, but is now crippled if I'm not wrong.

Usually people say only evil and bad people get struck as a punishment. But I'm no evil no bad person ya? So why should I be scared, haha.

Oh ya btw the Tim guy during the leadership training workshop today was darn good, like ownage. Loved him totally haha.

I once read a story in many years back. It was about a kite-flying competition. Everyone was flying beautiful and colourful kites, but there was a kid flying a kite with no colour, no pattern, no nothing. A completely blank, white piece of kite. As it flies up to the sky, something magical happened. The people below saw many colours and pictures on the kite. Some saw a bear, some saw a flower and some saw others. And it was constantly changing. Eventually, the kid won the competition with his blank kite. Everyone was amazed.

I didn't really get it at first. But later i realized how wonderful the kite was. Although being blank, it showed its beauty of blankness, of emptiness. The other kites are all coloured to their own pictures, whereas this kite has left the pictures to the imagination of the viewers. How beautiful, how pure. I loved it, loved the purity, loved the emptiness.

I feel a strong gust of wind. Let go and let it fly with the wind.

Gone with the wind...

I saw fallen leaves in school today and piled up along the corridor. I wonder how they got to there when there are no trees around. The wind cannot be possibly so strong that it blew the leaves all the way from the trees on the other side. And they were all piled up so nicely, in neat columns. Sadly, they were all dead, probably they were left there for too long. If they were all green and fresh, then how amazing will that be. Now they are all brown and punched with holes. Never will they be able to live and grow again. Sigh.

Its like the scene in October. Everything so calm and peaceful. Leaves falling like waves. Layers of music and emotions gradually build up to the climax. The peaceful scene gradually disappears. All the memories disappearing as the scene fade off. In the last breath, another climax is reached and finally, goodbye to October, goodbye to the scene of falling leaves, and goodbye to all those beautiful memories in autumn. Its like a wave. It comes and leaves so quickly.

.

I couldn't stop laughing when i saw those pics about how funny English is translated in Japan and China. Actually I shouldn't be laughing at this, but i seriously just can't help it. Just take a look at www.engrish.com. Every picture there is just hilarious...

I think they really need to do something about this, especially when foreigners visit these countries. The English used really can make people laugh like mad. I heard that they actually use stuff like Babelfish to translate the signboards and stuff, which is why they turn out to be so screwed up. Actually they can just hire people like us and translate chinese into english, I bet we'll have a lot of jobs to do lol. Maybe 10 bucks for translating one signboard, in no time I'll be rich. Easy money-making isn't it? Well...

Good night.

Finally common tests are over, but unlike the previous years, instead of playing cards and slacking everyday, I'll have to worry about the coming TOK and IOP essays. IB really kinda sucks man. Common tests were not any better also.

English: As usual, I'll be passing it by 1 or 2 marks, which happened for almost all the past exams.
Chinese: I expected myself to do well for this, but too bad I fell sick during the chinese paper...
Econs: Essay was okay, but DRQ was totally screwed up. I guess the decreasing trend in grades will continue.
Chem: I don't have much to say for MCQ, but i screwed up P2 which was supposed to save me.
Maths: Well... How about leaving 20 over marks blank?
Music: Totally rushed through everything, wrote crap for most of Dido lol.

Nothing much to say liao... If I can get like 38 points of something I'll be treating the whole world lunch, lol.

Byebye.

Japan was so nice. I just came back yesterday from my band exchange programme in Japan. It was an wonderful experience. Everything there seemed so nice. The air, the water, the forests were so fresh; the people were so friendly and polite; the culture was so unique. Universal studios was wonderful, the ride was so exciting, and the atmosphere there was so fabulous. It was absolutely an amazing place...

I missed the food there, I missed the people there. I missed the air there, I missed the trees there. I missed the hot springs, I missed Universal studios. I missed the late nights of cards, I missed all the music we played. I missed Fukui, I missed Osaka. I missed Japan. But they were all in the past. I shall forget them and continue with my life. Maybe I won't forget them, but I will keep them as wonderful memories, I will treasure these moments of the past. I will keep all the time capsules of this trip so that they will always remind me of these wonderful days.

I only realized how fun Japan was when I returned home. What a pity. I didn't treasure the moments there, and I just let them flowed like water. They were gone so fast, and before even I realized it, the trip was over. Now everyone wants to go back to Japan, and no one wants to be back here. I guess I should stop thinking about it and continue with my life. I will keep those memories and let them remind me of this wonderful trip, a trip never to be forgotten. Sayonara Japan...

<3 Japan

WOW, our WOW got postponed! Actually I should not be so excited. In fact I'm not. I mean it was just really shocking, really unexpected. All those waiting, all those preparing, all those anticipating, poof, all gone, so fast, so sudden, so unprepared. But think of the good side: there is more time to study, and there will be time to take a break from the midst all those work in August, saving us from the August Rush. Well, I'll just try to think of the bright side. All may be fine.

Really all may be fine? Not so. There are more unexpected events that may happen which will disappoint us, or even devastate our lives. They are usually just so sudden that you may not even realize it when they're over. By the time you realize it, it's already too late. These things happen almost inevitably, and totally unpredictable. If the dice of fate happens to go against you, there is really nothing much you can do. Just live on.

Seeing my homeland getting devastated by the nature, it was really a terrible sight, a fact that I would never want to believe in. How unexpected it was. Just in a matter of seconds, thousands were left dead, leaving even more people uncertain about their fate. In all those waiting, hoping and praying, some managed to pull through, but some never made it. The desperation to live and the power of life were all demonstrated. Everything possible were done, just to breathe one more breath, just to live one more day. However, most were wasted, most people left the rest and went off with helplessness. Those who survived, had to face the losing of their loved ones, and everything they had. All came in such a sudden. Unexpectedly, it just happened so fast. We usually don't treasure and value things until we lost them. All those regrets that come later are just too late. Since there is no solution, might as well just live on with it. If you can't live on with it, then just leave it. Life can't be changed so easily. Just be prepared of things that may happen, and follow the path of your fate and live with it. When undesired things happen, just try to forget about them and let them go. Let go. Let those things go and be free of them. Happiness will then come to you.

Sometimes I'll have this rush to go back, and be one of the victims to share the pain, share the sorrow with the rest. At least everyone will feel better with one more person carrying the burden. They shared their emotions, their sorrow with me, and I had always been opening my mind to take in these emotions. The sorrow always existed in me, though I never express it. At times, I felt so depressed that I almost lost control of myself. I'll still managed to let it in and let it fade, and it will not affect my normal life. I'll just live on. No matter what, what has happened has happened, no point regretting or feeling sad about it. Carry on with life. All those pain, all those sorrow are part of life. Live with them, learn to love them, and eventually learn to let them go. That is the art of life.

Live on. Jiayou!